ADHD and the Myth of the Right Way

Phrases like “the early bird catches the worm,” “tidy house, tidy mind,” or “get your ducks in a row” are often seen as effective life advice. But for someone with ADHD, they can quietly reinforce the idea that there’s only one “right” way to function and that anything else falls short.

Did you know, by the age of 10, children with ADHD are estimated to hear 20,000 more negative or corrective messages than their peers. These everyday phrases, though well-meaning, can add to feelings of shame and inadequacy. 

Step at Strawberry Field Programme Manager Adele Murphy says, “As a parent of a teenager myself, I’ve caught myself defaulting to these ideas, especially when it comes to things like tidying her bedroom or time management. I’m trying to challenge that thinking.”

So how can employers adapt? By trusting the outcome, not the process.

Not everyone works in neat, linear or predictable ways. What may look disorganised or last-minute from the outside can still lead to a successful result. For many with ADHD, their way works for them, it might just look different.

Instead of focusing on how something should be done, ask;
Is it getting done? Is it working for them? Do they achieve it in the end?

Creating a More Inclusive Way Forward

For someone with ADHD, life can already feel like being slightly out of step with the world around them. The goal shouldn’t be to push them further toward that feeling, even unintentionally.

Instead, why don’t we try to;

• Question the “rules” we’ve always accepted
• Be mindful of the language we use
• Celebrate different ways of thinking and doing
• Focus on strengths rather than perceived shortcomings 

Empathy, curiosity and understanding matter far more than enforcing conventional methods. Because when we let go of rigid expectations, we make space for people to find their own way and reach their full potential on their own terms.